Posts Tagged ‘Eldercare’

Neglect, financial exploitation and healthcare fraud are important issues that family members of frail seniors should keep an eye on. Seniors may exhibit signs and symptoms of these problems in the same way they would with other types of abuse.

Neglect is a passive form of abuse, wherein the perpetrator fails to provide adequate care to meet the victim’s needs, resulting in harmful or potentially harmful situations. Some signs that an elderly loved one may be experiencing neglect include:
 Unusual weight loss, malnutrition, or dehydration
 Untreated physical problems
 Unsanitary living conditions
 Being left dirty or unbathed
 Unsuitable clothing for the weather
 Unsafe living conditions (ex. no heat or running water, fire hazards, etc.)
 Desertion of the senior in a public place

Financial Exploitation is the improper use of an elder’s funds or assets. This type of abuse may go unnoticed by seniors who do not manage their own funds, so it is extremely important for family members to look out for the following warning signs:
Significant withdrawals from the senior’s accounts
Sudden changes in the senior’s financial condition
Items or cash missing from the home
Suspicious changes in wills, power of attorney, titles and policies
Unpaid bills
Financial activity the senior couldn’t have done (ex. ATM withdrawals when the account holder is bedridden)
Unnecessary services, goods or subscriptions

Healthcare Fraud or Abuse occurs when individuals or institutions target elderly individuals in an attempt to sell illegitimate healthcare treatments or products. Be on the lookout for the following signs that your loved ones may be the victim of healthcare fraud or abuse:
 Multiple billings for the same medical service or device
 Evidence of over- or under-medication
 Evidence of inadequate care when bills have been paid in full
 Problems with the healthcare facility (ex. poorly trained or insufficient staff, crowding, inadequate responses to questions about care)

It is imperative that family members visit their elderly loved ones as often as possible and communicate with their care providers on a regular basis. Be vigilant and address any suspicions about elder abuse immediately. At Practical Care Continuum in Austin, we know that safety and security are primary to a good in-home care situation. Call us today at 512.380.9339 to schedule in-home care you can trust.

For more resources check out our “Monthly Survival Kit”

Studies show that humor is the best medicine for everything that ails you so I’ve decided to list a few creative signs to put a smile on your face….That I pulled from one of my favorite booklets Good Stuff. 

In a podiaterist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”

At a proctologist’s door: “To expedite your visit please back in.”

On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

On a church billboard: “Seven days without God makes one weak.”

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: “Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”

In a non-smoking area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

On a maternity room door: “Push, Push, Push.”

On a taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.”

At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

On a fence: “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.”

At a car dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

At a propane filling station: “Thank heaven for little grills.”

—Bob Haeffner
P.S. If your interested in finding out how to get ”Good Stuff” email me and I’ll give you their info. 

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, hearts are on the mind. In honor of this month of love, we would like to provide some insight into the emotional rollercoaster that often occurs after a heart attack.

When a loved one is recovering from a heart attack, be prepared that he or she may not be able to do the same activities or tasks as before the heart attack, and this can be frustrating for everyone. Some people are able to recover more fully than others, but the key is to be patient and allow time for proper recovery. Talk to the medical team to get a better understanding of what to expect for the future. Here are a few other effects you can expect:

• Expect your loved one to have actively changing emotions and possible fears of death.
• Allow time to adjust and be sure to express how both you and your loved one feel.
• Support your loved one in making necessary lifestyle changes to prevent a reoccurrence or complication.
• Make future plans and help your loved one start “living” again.
• Accept that your roles may be temporarily reversed.
• Take the time to simply listen.
• When speaking, try to use I statements rather than you statements, such as “I feel frustrated” rather than “You make me feel frustrated.”

Keep in mind that the rehabilitation process enables many people to do much more than they ever expected, and eventually the up and down emotions of recovery should settle down. For more tips and information on recovery after a heart attack, click here.
Practical Care Continuum in Austin, Texas knows how to properly care for someone recovering from heart surgery or a heart attack. Our caregivers can prepare delicious, heart-healthy meals, do light housekeeping and our care team will work seamlessly with your physicians to provide the best coordinated, specialized care. Contact us today to learn more.

My mom has always been a loner.  I don’t remember her being around much as I was growing up as she was always either at work or hiding in her room.  She still does those things (other than the work) while living with me.  She says she isolates herself because she doesn’t want to bother the family but it’s hard to know why she does it now when it’s been a life long pattern.

When she does emerge from her room, the kids love to visit with her and the dog absolutely adores her.  She unfortunately feeds him from her plate.  But she also pets him and lets him hide under her chair when the occasional Texas thunderstorm happens by.

Every year our family goes to Garner State Park to camp but this year we decided to visit a private camp ground called 7 bluffs.  We rented a big house so everyone, all 15 of us, could spend time together with Grandma, or Nona as she likes to be called.  Up to the last minute I thought she would change her mind but I kept encouraging her and she went.  I got her books to read and anything else that might keep her busy.  But after the first day she was ready to leave.  I think she missed her television which she leaves on 24/7 at home.  There was only one in the house and the kids had hijacked it for cartoons and tween shows.

She told one of my siblings she would never  come with us again.  She hasn’t told me that.  I guess she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I have to wonder though why she complains about not seeing her grandchildren more often and when she gets the opportunity to see all of them at once for 5 days she wants to high tail it out of there.  She did tell me the highlight of the trip was seeing the baby deer outside her window.  Sigh, I guess spending time with family will never be her thing.

Change is hard for anyone but especially older adults who have lived a lifetime doing things a certain way.  I shouldn’t have expected her to change her routines and become more social because I thought she would have a good time.  She knows what she likes and sticks to it.  I felt as though if I didn’t ask her to go her feelings would be hurt and she thought if she said no my feelings would be hurt.  I guess a little better communication would have been in order here but although she has  been living with me for over 6 months now I still can’t shake that mother/daughter role with every aspect of our relationship.

I think the lesson for caregivers is to find ways to socialize their parent(s) that follow their life long patterns.  Or at the very least introduce new activities in small doses.  Maybe 5 days was not such a good idea and maybe I should have brought her her own television.  I can’t help trying and I don’t think it’s right for caregivers to not try something.  Our parents did it for us when we where young and now it’s our time to change roles.

I just finished reading Dr. Barry Jacobs’ book “The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers; looking after yourself and your family while helping an aging parent” and found it to be very insightful. It was easy to read which means I could put it down and come back to it without getting lost or having to backtrack. I loved the way the book followed a caregiver and the family through the whole caregiving process and pointed out issues that could occur, or did occur in this case, and then gave suggestions for everyone on both sides of the issue. The suggestions where very pragmatic and I believe helpful to any caregiving situation.

Here’s are a few excerpt I especially liked:
page 62 “Or, as I’ve heard many primary caregivers put it over the years, “No one else knows how to take care of our sick family member as well as I do since I’m the one with her all the time.” But as a long-term plan, concentrating the caregiving in few hands courts disaster. If you do the vast majority of the work, you’ll likely suffer the brunt of the cumulative physical and emotional toll that caregiving usually causes over months and years. If you give up the pursuits of your own life, you probably will grow gradually more resentful of the family members who still have the luxury of pursuing theirs. The danger is, without consistent logistical support, you’ll burn out and then not be able to take care of your ill relative well at all”

page 63 “Information, empathy, and hands-on help are the kinds of support that could bolster you to handle any caregiving situation. But there’s one proviso: You have to be willing to use the available supports. That brings us to the third common problem of many family members caring for loved ones. They don’t take full advantage of the help they’re offered. They say things like “God only give you as much to carry a you can bear” and then tell other family members they don’t need assistance.

Page 70 has several ideas for family members to use to encourage the primary caregiver to accept help. They include gently persuasion, recruiting the doctor, giving permission, asking instead of telling, and enlisting the help of the person receiving care.

The book is a great read for families who are working through the caregiving process. It’s not easy and it’s always helpful to have your thoughts validated. Whether you get validation through a book or in a support group it’s always helpful.  I get frustrated with my mother often but reading through the book let me know that other folks feel the same way and it’s OK.  My mother and I have actually gotten along better since reading the book.

I highly recommend Dr. Jacobs book.  The caregiving process can be a wonderful experience but not at the expense of your own health.  I personally try really hard to keep up with my kids and care for my mother.  She deserves to be well cared for but I need to keep up my relationships with my kids and other family members so that when I get old and need help they will be there for me.  Plus I don’t want the stress to kill me before my grand kids arrive.

In January of 2010 the American College of Physicians (ACP) published a position paper which recognized the pivotal role family caregivers play in the health and welfare of millions of those with chronic illness such as Alzheimer’s.

The National Family Caregivers Association posted the main points and recommendations in their Spring 2010 newsletter  of TAKE CARE!  They are:

“The physician should strive to ensure that the patient, family caregiver and other family members
have a common, accurate understanding of the patient’s condition and prognosis”

“Physicians should routinely validate the family caregiver’s role and be sensitive to specific
commitments the caregiver may have made regarding how her or she will manage the patient’s care.”

“Physicians should develop care plans that are patient-specific and caregiver-specific and provide
information, training and referrals to support those plans.”

“The physician should be alert for signs of distress in the family caregiver and suggest
appropriate referrals.”

“Physicians should recognize that geographically distant caregivers may face unique challenges.”

“The physician should define a palliative care plan that focuses on maximizing patient
and caregiver quality of life.”

Wow is this exciting or what! Family caregivers can be a huge asset for doctors and hospitals who see their patients returning to their offices or hospitals for issues that could have been prevented with a little thought and effort.  We just need to give these family members a little bit of help and understanding to get huge results.

Because I am in the  elder care business I  know what and how to get services for my mother but what do all those millions of caregivers who are totally unprepared do?  I will say that I take charge in my own life and health and have never had a problem talking to or getting what I need from a doctor and if I don’t I keep looking for one that will help.  Most stressed out caregivers won’t.  They don’t have the strength or will to do what it takes to get answers and many of these caregivers are usually elderly women caring for even older husbands.  They need their children or someone they trust to step in a say “hey what does that mean and how will this affect everyone concerned?”

What has been your experience with doctors?  Have you as a family member been treated badly or have you had great experiences with your doctor and his office?

If you are interested in getting a list of resources that where published online at the ACP website Click Here

Hello my name is Samantha and my 82 year old mother is addicted to pain killers! As I write this I imagine myself in a room full of  caregivers who are going around the room saying the same thing. I know I’m not the only family caregiver out there that has had to handle this issue.

It’s just one of the many issues I’ve had to deal with since my mother moved in with us in February. She tells me she is not addicted and that she knows they are bad but hides them in her room, searches my house for where I hid the rest and tries to get more than one doctor to write her prescriptions for her drug of choice.

Oh and now since I have taken control of those drugs she has developed migraines which require another pain killer! I got so frustrated last week that I told her to handle the bottles herself. Childish I know but dang it I’m tired of being her drug pusher. Well you can guess what happened, she took 6 migraine pills in an 8 hour period. That brought me back to my senses and I have taken those away from her as well. She now has to ask for them, which humiliates her, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let her “accidentally” kill herself.

The really frustrating part of this whole issue, other than having to police my mother, is the reaction of the medical community and her peers.    Every doctor I have talked too about this gives me the same line “She’s 82 let her take whatever she wants”. BULL! I won’t accept that. She has people that love her and her health such as it is. Would they have said the same thing to someone in their 20′s or 30′s. I sure as heck hope not. People are living quality lives into their 90′s now and there’s no reason why she shouldn’t.

I do think she has seen the light somewhat though due to her 11 year old grandson, Michael. He loves spending time with her. She has the most amazing long term memory and the funniest stories to tell. She remembers all of my fathers stories about WWII and Vietnam and loves to talk about her 7 children. Michael is constantly begging for war stories about his grandfather and has now insisted we work on her genealogy on www.ancestory.com. The other day he came to her and asked very quietly if she would come with us to a WWII war reenactment that a nearby Army Base was putting on. She told him not this time as she was too tired. She told me he looked at her with sad eyes and pleaded with her to come. He really wanted her to spend time with us. Ever since then she has been a more engaged person.

While she is still on enough pain meds to kill a horse she isn’t taking the migraine pills (although the caregiver secretly substituted some of them for aspirin). We are all looking forward to wild stories of the 40s and spending more time with our family.  My mother isn’t perfect but she’s the only one I have and I selfishly want to keep her around for as long as possible.

Wouldn’t that be lovely!  Someone you could call to help out on a moments notice.  You could call them to ask “Can you run over and drop off books for my mother”?  or “Can you run to the drug store for candy this afternoon”?  Just helping out with the little things is HUGE.

Well I have that.  I own my own home care company, Practical Care Continuum,  and I have a wonderful nanny for my kids that helps out with my mother too.  I could never be a caregiver without them and still work.  No wonder daughters are leaving the workforce to care for their parent(s).  How in the world can anyone keep down a full time job and cater to their parent(s).  I would go insane trying to keep up with her needs.

The big issues are not the problem because I can get home care help for those issues but the little things such as making sure her medications are set out properly and ordered in a timely manner consume a lot of my time.  The woman is on 12 medications umpteen times a day.  If I have a problem keeping up imagine my 82 year old frail mother keeping up with them.  Not to mention the 4 different doctors she has.  I don’t even have one (pretty typical for a caregiver to have no physician.  It’s not in our plan to get sick)

I think family members take on too much when caring for their parents and don’t think about the little things a home care company can do for them.  I have an advantage in that I own the company but even if I didn’t I would still hire one to handle the little things because my family time is precious to me.  My kids are growing up way to fast.  My 11 year old is graduating to middle school in two months and will no longer want to hang out with mom.  I want to grab all the time I can with him and running errands for my mother (much as I love her) is not my idea of family time.  So I give myself a break and ask (pay) for help.

Corny as it sounds I don’t want to be remembered for all the hard work I did when I go I want to be remembered for all the love and shared time I had with my family.

Bottom Line:  I am so lucky to have the help I do and if you don’t get your own you are missing out on life so get your own Concierge Service any way you can!

I spend a lot of money on management books each year trying to improve my leadership style but just the other day I realized that I had forgotten one of the basics.  Tell someone what a great job they did!

My week started out very hectic as usual.  Between the kids, my mother, her caregivers, and the business I really needed a Calgon moment and I got it from an email sent to me that included a testimonial from a client of mine.  It was wonderful to receive the pat on the back and the acknowledgment of all the hard work I put into my company.  That simple note made me realize that we all should give more kudos and if we do it will make us feel better which will in turn lower our stress level.

I emailed a kudos yesterday for the great service I received while ordering a pizza from CraigO’s.   I noticed that CraigO’s has gluten free pizza so I called to order for both myself and my kids who can eat anything.  The young girl who took my order was cheerful, patient and knowledgeable about her product.  You don’t find that everyday in the food service arena so I dropped a quick email to her boss about how impressed I was with her service.  They sent a note back thanking me but what I noticed was the fact that my email was forwarded on to her boss and the owner.  The whole process only took a minute, made me feel good, and hopefully put a smile on that young woman’s face. Who knows maybe that simple acknowledgment brought her to the attention of the higher ups which in turn will lead to her one day being the CEO.  A simple pat on the back can do wonders.

Which brings me to my point about caregivers.  Don’t forget to acknowledge all the hard work they do. The stress can be overwhelming but well worth it if someone says “Good Job” and Thank You for all you do.  Caregivers put up with a lot from their clients/family members/loved ones and it’s even worse for those caring for someone with dementia.  Those folks become isolated and forgotten all to often so take a moment to send a card or flowers to brighten up their day.  As an added bonus it will make you feel great too!

At Grace and Laughter I have decided to invite guests to blog for us.  I have met many wonderful people in my career and want to pass on their information/wisdom/opinions to my readers.  My first guest blogger is Sue Ronnenkamp of AgeFullLiving.com.  I think you’ll enjoy her blog!

An Easier Approach to Change

At the beginning of each month, my calendar prompter reminds me that it’s time to update my Change Journal.   This is a ritual I started in June 2008 after spending a lot of time reading about making changes – including great information I found on Ariane de Bonvoisin’s web site called First 30 Days.   I thought – why not take change just 30 days at a time?   Would this work better than strategies I’d tried in the past?

The answer to this last question is a resounding YES!   It’s now been over a year and a half since I started my Change Journal (a simple Composition Book I picked up for $1 at Walgreens).  At the beginning of each month, I list the changes I want to try or work on for that month (2-5 items is normal for me). When I reach the end of the month, I review my list and write briefly about the results – what worked and what didn’t.    And then I create a new list for the new month.   Some changes stay on my list for a few months until they are fully cemented in my life.  Some things get tabled and tried later.  Some changes get knocked off the list – “tried that, didn’t work, try something else.”   Bottom line, I never beat myself up over the things that don’t work.   I just focus on what DID work for me and move forward with keeping change active in my life.

What kind of changes have I made since I started this practice?  Here are some notable ones from my change list:

• Started doing crossword puzzles – something I had shied away from my whole life because my dad and sister are such crossword puzzle wizards.
• Did my first REAL push-ups at exercise class (something I’d always said I couldn’t do).
• Switched health clubs which led to trying aqua classes for the first time – exercise that gives my aging joints a break, is surprisingly effective and fun, and that has provided a nice change of pace in my weekly routine.
• Took baby steps toward being more energy conscious – starting with using cloth bags for groceries one month, turning off unneeded lights around the house another.
• Followed my dad’s advice and got back into the stock market and investing money again.
• FINALLY lost the extra unwanted pounds I had gained by trying a new diet that now allows me to eat more and weigh less.
• Cut down on salt and started using salt substitutes like Mrs. Dash at most meals.

As you can see, some of these changes are pretty minor.     But as I see it, EVERY POSITIVE CHANGE COUNTS – no matter how big or how small    I’ve also learned that once I find a change that feels right for me, then I need to work on making it STICK so it becomes a natural part of my life – even if it takes several months to accomplish this.   Changes that stick are how progress is made and how rewards can be reaped for your efforts.   And once a change is cemented in your life, then you can move on to the next thing and keep building on your change successes.

So, what do you think?   How does approaching change just 30 days at a time sound to you?   Is this something worth trying this year?    To learn more about this, go to www.first30days.com and give change a more reasonable try.   Who knows – it may just stick like it did for me.   Good luck!

Sue Ronnenkamp is the creator and founder of Age-Full Living, an aging education and consulting firm that focuses on the positive aspects, opportunities, and gifts of growing older.   Sue calls herself an “Age Changent” for Baby Boomers and beyond – her made- up and catchy version of the term “change agent” that encompasses both changing the way we think about aging AND embracing changing with our own aging.   For more information, visit Sue’s website at www.AgeFullLiving.com.