Posts Tagged ‘Caregiver Burn Out’

Studies show that humor is the best medicine for everything that ails you so I’ve decided to list a few creative signs to put a smile on your face….That I pulled from one of my favorite booklets Good Stuff. 

In a podiaterist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”

At a proctologist’s door: “To expedite your visit please back in.”

On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

On a church billboard: “Seven days without God makes one weak.”

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: “Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”

In a non-smoking area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

On a maternity room door: “Push, Push, Push.”

On a taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.”

At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

On a fence: “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.”

At a car dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

At a propane filling station: “Thank heaven for little grills.”

—Bob Haeffner
P.S. If your interested in finding out how to get ”Good Stuff” email me and I’ll give you their info. 

My mom has always been a loner.  I don’t remember her being around much as I was growing up as she was always either at work or hiding in her room.  She still does those things (other than the work) while living with me.  She says she isolates herself because she doesn’t want to bother the family but it’s hard to know why she does it now when it’s been a life long pattern.

When she does emerge from her room, the kids love to visit with her and the dog absolutely adores her.  She unfortunately feeds him from her plate.  But she also pets him and lets him hide under her chair when the occasional Texas thunderstorm happens by.

Every year our family goes to Garner State Park to camp but this year we decided to visit a private camp ground called 7 bluffs.  We rented a big house so everyone, all 15 of us, could spend time together with Grandma, or Nona as she likes to be called.  Up to the last minute I thought she would change her mind but I kept encouraging her and she went.  I got her books to read and anything else that might keep her busy.  But after the first day she was ready to leave.  I think she missed her television which she leaves on 24/7 at home.  There was only one in the house and the kids had hijacked it for cartoons and tween shows.

She told one of my siblings she would never  come with us again.  She hasn’t told me that.  I guess she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I have to wonder though why she complains about not seeing her grandchildren more often and when she gets the opportunity to see all of them at once for 5 days she wants to high tail it out of there.  She did tell me the highlight of the trip was seeing the baby deer outside her window.  Sigh, I guess spending time with family will never be her thing.

Change is hard for anyone but especially older adults who have lived a lifetime doing things a certain way.  I shouldn’t have expected her to change her routines and become more social because I thought she would have a good time.  She knows what she likes and sticks to it.  I felt as though if I didn’t ask her to go her feelings would be hurt and she thought if she said no my feelings would be hurt.  I guess a little better communication would have been in order here but although she has  been living with me for over 6 months now I still can’t shake that mother/daughter role with every aspect of our relationship.

I think the lesson for caregivers is to find ways to socialize their parent(s) that follow their life long patterns.  Or at the very least introduce new activities in small doses.  Maybe 5 days was not such a good idea and maybe I should have brought her her own television.  I can’t help trying and I don’t think it’s right for caregivers to not try something.  Our parents did it for us when we where young and now it’s our time to change roles.

I spend a lot of money on management books each year trying to improve my leadership style but just the other day I realized that I had forgotten one of the basics.  Tell someone what a great job they did!

My week started out very hectic as usual.  Between the kids, my mother, her caregivers, and the business I really needed a Calgon moment and I got it from an email sent to me that included a testimonial from a client of mine.  It was wonderful to receive the pat on the back and the acknowledgment of all the hard work I put into my company.  That simple note made me realize that we all should give more kudos and if we do it will make us feel better which will in turn lower our stress level.

I emailed a kudos yesterday for the great service I received while ordering a pizza from CraigO’s.   I noticed that CraigO’s has gluten free pizza so I called to order for both myself and my kids who can eat anything.  The young girl who took my order was cheerful, patient and knowledgeable about her product.  You don’t find that everyday in the food service arena so I dropped a quick email to her boss about how impressed I was with her service.  They sent a note back thanking me but what I noticed was the fact that my email was forwarded on to her boss and the owner.  The whole process only took a minute, made me feel good, and hopefully put a smile on that young woman’s face. Who knows maybe that simple acknowledgment brought her to the attention of the higher ups which in turn will lead to her one day being the CEO.  A simple pat on the back can do wonders.

Which brings me to my point about caregivers.  Don’t forget to acknowledge all the hard work they do. The stress can be overwhelming but well worth it if someone says “Good Job” and Thank You for all you do.  Caregivers put up with a lot from their clients/family members/loved ones and it’s even worse for those caring for someone with dementia.  Those folks become isolated and forgotten all to often so take a moment to send a card or flowers to brighten up their day.  As an added bonus it will make you feel great too!