I struggle everyday with my mothers depression which she has had all her life.  Most of the time she is upbeat and a lot of fun to be around but there are other times when she sleeps for days at a time and just wants to stay in her room.  She says it’s because she doesn’t want to bother the rest of the family but I think she’s hiding out. 

A lot of things I have to deal with at work have similarities with the issues I have at home.  My mothers depression is one of those.  It relates directly to my employees morale of late.  I only just realized the correlation while developing a new employee performance appraisal system.  I, like most people, used to hate doing annual reviews.  They were uncomfortable and to my way of thinking had no real purpose.  But after doing some research and getting some pointers from my TAB Board facilitator I have come to realize that they are powerful tools for myself and the employees.  They now have a sense of purpose!  We evaluated their work performance but more than that we set goals and I had fun setting them.  I can’t wait to see my employees develop there goals and after just a few days I have noticed a huge jump in employee morale!  The future looks very bright for Practical Care now that it’s employees are working on not just in the company.  They have purpose.

My mothers depression, I believe, has the same characteristics of an employee with low morale.  What is her purpose?  At this point she is just hanging out with me waiting to die.  She doesn’t go to work or volunteer, most of her friends have already passed away and the few she does have all live out of town.  Her health also prohibits her from getting out and that includes her depression which just makes it that much harder to get the get up and go to go anywhere.  She can’t drive anymore, well she can but we sold her car, so she couldn’t if she wanted too.  Although she has threatened to rent a car.  Sigh! 

Just as I sat down with my employees I am going to sit down with my mother and set goals for her.  Some of the goals I’d love to see for her are:  Goal #1  Plan and cook a meal for the family once a week, including grocery shopping with the help of her caregiver.  A stretch goal would be to plan and cook two meals a week.  Goal #2  Set up her sewing machine and make clothes for the kids or fix their torn jeans or hem my work pants.  Wow this would be great for me.  Too come home to a meal already planned and cooked,  to have mended clothes without waiting months whereas before I would wait until I had a healthy pile to take to the cleaners for cleaning and repair.  This is sounding more and more like it benefits me more than her but I know that’s not the case.  She will have a purpose in life and not one that includes waiting to die!

Have any of you come across this issue with your parents?  What have you done to help them?

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