Hello my name is Samantha and my 82 year old mother is addicted to pain killers! As I write this I imagine myself in a room full of  caregivers who are going around the room saying the same thing. I know I’m not the only family caregiver out there that has had to handle this issue.

It’s just one of the many issues I’ve had to deal with since my mother moved in with us in February. She tells me she is not addicted and that she knows they are bad but hides them in her room, searches my house for where I hid the rest and tries to get more than one doctor to write her prescriptions for her drug of choice.

Oh and now since I have taken control of those drugs she has developed migraines which require another pain killer! I got so frustrated last week that I told her to handle the bottles herself. Childish I know but dang it I’m tired of being her drug pusher. Well you can guess what happened, she took 6 migraine pills in an 8 hour period. That brought me back to my senses and I have taken those away from her as well. She now has to ask for them, which humiliates her, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let her “accidentally” kill herself.

The really frustrating part of this whole issue, other than having to police my mother, is the reaction of the medical community and her peers.    Every doctor I have talked too about this gives me the same line “She’s 82 let her take whatever she wants”. BULL! I won’t accept that. She has people that love her and her health such as it is. Would they have said the same thing to someone in their 20′s or 30′s. I sure as heck hope not. People are living quality lives into their 90′s now and there’s no reason why she shouldn’t.

I do think she has seen the light somewhat though due to her 11 year old grandson, Michael. He loves spending time with her. She has the most amazing long term memory and the funniest stories to tell. She remembers all of my fathers stories about WWII and Vietnam and loves to talk about her 7 children. Michael is constantly begging for war stories about his grandfather and has now insisted we work on her genealogy on www.ancestory.com. The other day he came to her and asked very quietly if she would come with us to a WWII war reenactment that a nearby Army Base was putting on. She told him not this time as she was too tired. She told me he looked at her with sad eyes and pleaded with her to come. He really wanted her to spend time with us. Ever since then she has been a more engaged person.

While she is still on enough pain meds to kill a horse she isn’t taking the migraine pills (although the caregiver secretly substituted some of them for aspirin). We are all looking forward to wild stories of the 40s and spending more time with our family.  My mother isn’t perfect but she’s the only one I have and I selfishly want to keep her around for as long as possible.

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